Our story

So to start mostly from the beginning, 2021 was meant to be my gap year. I was working as an admin assistant for the NHS trying to save money as I had a place at Robert Gordon university to study journalism. I left school in a hurry and rushed my uni application, I was only 16 when I got into uni and I knew I wasn’t ready for it. I just desperately wanted out of my school where I had virtually no friends. This time working for the nhs was not great for my mental health, the job was stressful, I had been isolated from any remaining friendships I had and I only ever hung out with my boyfriend. I gained close to 90 lbs in a matter of months (I don’t deal with my emotions, I eat them).

 For the sake of my son I won’t go into the details of what went down between his father and I, however I will speak my truth the best I can. We briefly broke up at the start of December 2021 because I felt controlled. However, being faced with crippling loneliness felt too scary I went back to him 2 days later. I was so severely depressed at this point gigantic mats  formed in my hair, I wasn’t showering or brushing my teeth, I couldn’t get myself out of bed most days. And then on Christmas Day after a family dinner I realised I hadn’t had a period in quite some time, we happened to have a pregnancy test laying around and I thought there was no harm in taking it. I genuinely did not think it would be positive. It was. Looking at that test in my boyfriends dads kitchen I was overcome with this realisation I truly wanted this baby. I knew my baby was meant to be. 

Now I want to make it clear I am absolutely 100% pro CHOICE. I am so grateful to live in a country where I had the choice to continue my pregnancy! It’s a privilege not everybody has and I do not take that for granted. 

I gave up my place at uni and my excitement to meet my baby grew with my bump. I didn’t have an easy pregnancy, I don’t think anybody does. I had horrific nausea the entire pregnancy, acid reflux, migraines, back ache, boob ache, I got cystic acne that made my skin painful to touch. My weight went up even more. I had scares where I thought we’d lost the baby. And it was the most severely lonely time of my life, I still had no friends. The only thing that got me through it was knowing my baby boy was meant to be. 

And then at 6 months pregnant tragedy struck. My grandad unexpectedly passed away. Simultaneously dealing with grief and pregnancy almost killed me. There were days I thought it would be best if it did. But I had to keep going because this baby was coming in hot. 

August 31st 2022 weighing 8.13 lbs Tommy boy made his appearance and I have been living my life for him ever since. His first year was a blur of the happiest moments of my life. It was the first time since starting high school I wasn’t struggling with depression. As happy as I was my relationship just got worse and worse. 

It all came to a head in October 2023 when I ended it. I hate that it took me so long to realise it’s not best for your child to stay with the wrong partner. It’s better to have two happy single parents than parents who basically want to kill each other. 

It’s been almost a year of being a single parent and my life is a beautiful rollercoaster. I have a group of fantastic friends, I made mum friends, actually have a social life and most importantly me and Tommy. I just recently started college for professional writing skills so I’m juggling being a single mum, working part time and being a student! I just love my crazy hectic life and I hope you’ll enjoy reading about it.